Blackmail Beginner Gifts

"Dear Santa, The cookies were made with laxatives. If you give me the bike I want, I'll give you the key to the bathroom door. Love, Jimmy."

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

'Please enter your pin now.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

"I'm totally prepared for this meeting. In fact I spent the entire morning working on my 'it's not my fault' face."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

Spiv

Spam.

Boss, the health inspector is here. Excellent. My hacker just finished restoring all the inspector's social media posts dating back to 1994. Tell him "It'd be a shame if someone's career were ruined by a 20-year-old video of him doing the Macarena in the buff." Don't wink too much. But not too little, either. Very bad man.

'Bills, Bills, Bills!'

'He's our Spam expert!'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

'Now that's what I call a worthy cause.'

"Give me first chair or I tell everyone that you're unwinding with bro country."

Mailwoman looks at mailboxes marked Mail - Spam.

Black Magic

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."

U. S. POST OFFICE, 'Well, that's enough postage, but just barely.'

"I want to be a spam master when I grow up. You'll find a sample of my work on your computer."

Deja Voodoo.

'These baboons from the local safari park claim they can get us any car part we want for a price.'

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

Spam on Mousetrap

CR was here. Tony rules! Hello, I'm a Nigerian general's widow. I have a large amount of securities that I need to transfer. Graffiti was bad enough, but now we have graffiti spam!

Pay more attention to your mail. All those pre-approved credit cards should raise your self-esteem.

Email Forwards - Self Treatment for Hemorrhoids.

To Unsubscribe....

Spam email is everywhere.

'Congratulations! You're our 10,000th customer and you've just won 5,000 free pills!'

'Bill, bill, letter bomb, credit card offer, bill...'

''You still haven't claimed for the accident you had.' Ha ha, what #@~## accident!!'