Junk Mail Prankster Gifts

"Dear Householder...here is your free sample of Power Epoxy Glue."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

The birth of junk mail.

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

"I'd like a 'change of address' card."

Access Denied!

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

Junk Mail

'Whoa! A classic case of mailbox catalog overload blowout!'

'Sure I can do same day service.'

Saint Patrick sending snakes out of Ireland.

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

'Is this where you send stuff offline?'

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

"What the...a swarm of Christmas air-mail parcels?! Pull her up, Larry! Pull her up!!"

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

Man sees box on street labeled Mail-Mail.

'Customers are calling 911 about our product. They need the Jaws Of Life to get into the packaging.'

Cheese of the Week: Brie

Insufficient Postage: Return to Sender.

"Load the holiday catalogues."

This Side Up.

"I want to be a spam master when I grow up. You'll find a sample of my work on your computer."

"Typical mail - four bills, two catalogs, and a pre-approved credit card for the dog."

'The post is so unreliable - these days I have to slit birthday card envelopes myself so it looks like i put some money in.'

"I'm thinking about having a sic day."

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."