Junk Mail Humorist Gifts

'By opening this envelope, and taking out this letter you have voluntarily agreed to buy product...'

"Typical mail - four bills, two catalogs, and a pre-approved credit card for the dog."

Junk Mail

You are already a loser.

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."

"Let's see. 12 bald cures, 15 back hair removal ads, and 27 male enhancement ads. That's pretty much it."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

The birth of junk mail.

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

Junk Mail

Envelopes.

Junk Mail.

'Whoa! A classic case of mailbox catalog overload blowout!'

'He's our Spam expert!'

Spam Folders

No Junk Mail

'Gentlemen, I have evidence that one of us is a spy.'

Man sees box on street labeled Mail-Mail.

"He's been carrying out cyber attacks."

"Load the holiday catalogues."

'It did say on the parcel, 'please do not bend'!'

"Just more Junk Mail."

Junk Mail Yard - "Catalogue junk over there, Insurance and credit cards over there.."

'You need to stop employees flushing money down the toilet!'

"I forgot to cancel the pizza leaflets..."

Now the postal strike's off I'm delivering your backlog of junk mail.

'An insured package? Certainly, sir -- just sign this waiver.'

'...And no salesman will call -- You may, however, find yourself on a bunch of whacky mailing lists.'

Pay more attention to your mail. All those pre-approved credit cards should raise your self-esteem.

"Wow, this is weird. We've been pre-declined for a new credit card!!"

'I have a complaint about one of your window clerks.'

Sea of pizza delivery leaflets - 'Darling! Our pizza has arrived'