Black Hole Adventurer Gifts

Moments Later, David Blaine Would Be Crushed Into Nothingness.

Vortex

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

The Life of Pi

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

"Needs to get a life"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

Shoot For The Moon

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Halo Frisbee.

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Economic Downturns

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

'Say again: a train going 50 Miles Per Hour leaves Chicago heading to a black hole where the rules of motion change as a function of distance from a singularity ... and then what?'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

"The best place to make black hole discoveries is in the bedroom."