Black Comedy Fans Gifts

"He loved the outdoors."

A casket of corpses

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"That'll be five bucks."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

End the Winter Blues

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"He says he's sure this isn't Wildwood. Did you put batteries in the GPS?"

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Standard & Poor

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

Yakety-Yak

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

The return of the four sheepskins

The first case of resume padding.

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

"Don't go in there!!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'Frankendumpty'