Black Humor Fans Gifts

'Wouldn't it be terrible to be buried in a cardboard box.'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Pastries and Candy

"Puss in cement boots"

End the Winter Blues

The practical psychopath

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"I'm the bad guy..."

Optimist

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'Et tu Yakamoto?'

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

'Absent friends!'

Ghost puddle