Black Humor Aficionado Gifts

"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Another day at work would be one too many...

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"The Eggsorcist"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"Needs to get a life"

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.