Black Comedy Fan Gifts

"Did you remember to kill the Petersens?"

"Knock 'em dead."

"Look, Grim, I'm really sorry. It's not you, it's me ... well, it's mostly you, like 85/15 ..."

"It just doesn't have the same panache."

"Now, just for fun. Kick it!"

The Heirs

"So where do you see this relationship going?"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

The Rooster Comedian.

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

End the Winter Blues

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"Am I sensing fear?"

Fancy a pint?

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Frankendumpty'

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

No, they're not divorced --- She said that's her "ox-husband."

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

Stephen Fry

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"