Black Comedy Fan Gifts

"Did you remember to kill the Petersens?"

"Knock 'em dead."

"Look, Grim, I'm really sorry. It's not you, it's me ... well, it's mostly you, like 85/15 ..."

"It just doesn't have the same panache."

"Now, just for fun. Kick it!"

The Heirs

"So where do you see this relationship going?"

Zombie standup

The Rooster Comedian.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

End the Winter Blues

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"Am I sensing fear?"

Fancy a pint?

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Frankendumpty'

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

'Let's see now, say, do you mind if I keep your x-ray for a book I'm writing on fatal diseases?'

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"Well at least nobody notices we don't go out much anymore."

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

'Dead things give me the willies!'