Black Comedy Gifts

Executioner hit in stomach bythe head he has just cut off

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Dead Funny

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

End the Winter Blues

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

100 best beheadings

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

'Frankendumpty'

"Tastes great, less killing!"

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

"Fortunately, we have an excellent selection!"

Cannibal recipes.

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

'Passengers were on their way to a clown convention. We've 7 fatalities and 174 in hospital.'

"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."

"So where do you see this relationship going?"

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

Special Place in Hell...

'This had better be important, I'm in the middle of a conference call!'

Wanted, someone to kill hunter. A volunteer is often the last one you'd ever want to give the job to.

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

"Don't get mad at me - you're the one who threw your robe in the dryer."

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

"You like woodwork class then, son?"