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"He loved the outdoors."

A casket of corpses

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"That'll be five bucks."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

End the Winter Blues

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Standard & Poor

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

The return of the four sheepskins

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Yakety-Yak

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'Frankendumpty'

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'