Bizarre Enthusiast Gifts

'Hi! You must be an absurdist - or are you just absurd?'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Tourists and their Pets.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Bigfoot"

Apple Pie Abduction

Glance Exchange

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Valet park only"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Who's next?"

One way only.

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"It's my helper trout!"

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"I like fountains very much!"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'You need some stress.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Man guarding a written border.

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

"Bad dog!"

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

Nikolai Gogol

"Phil, could I speak to you for a moment, not as your doctor but as your horse?"

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic?"

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"