Bizarre Bazaar Enthusiast Gifts

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Apple Pie Abduction

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

"Bigfoot"

Glance Exchange

Extreme Sisyphus

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Valet park only"

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Who's next?"

One way only.

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Robber on treadmill

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

"It's my helper trout!"

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"I like fountains very much!"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

'You need some stress.'