Bizarre Humor Lover Gifts

Apple Pie Abduction

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Crap from the future.

Pastry Hat

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Boomerang cow.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Honest Voting Stickers

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

The Monroe Doctrine

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Think tanks.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Franz Kafka

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

Eugene Ionesco

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'