Bizarre Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Hi! You must be an absurdist - or are you just absurd?'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Tourists and their Pets.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Apple Pie Abduction

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Who's next?"

"Valet park only"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

One way only.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"It's my helper trout!"

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"I like fountains very much!"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

'You need some stress.'

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"Bad dog!"

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

Nikolai Gogol

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

Man guarding a written border.

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"Phil, could I speak to you for a moment, not as your doctor but as your horse?"

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic?"

'I know it doesn't look like much, but have you ever been shot in the face with a p****d off cat?'