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"Ok, Monica, here's where it gets weird."

Tourists and their Pets.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Glance Exchange

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

"Bigfoot"

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Valet park only"

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

"God help us, it's that guy."

Breakfast surreal.

'Let's get a kitty.'

"I like fountains very much!"

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

Sherlock Holmes' tax return

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

If Ghosts Were Real

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

Man guarding a written border.

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Too Weird to Have a Husband