Bizarre Humor Enthusiast T-Shirts

"You need the booze dog. I'm the crack cocaine dog."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Police Feline Unit

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Speed Dating for Turtles

Selling lemon latt�

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Faster, Georges, faster!

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

Cariactures

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Do Not Resuscitate

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'Cannonball!'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Here and There Trays