Birth Story Teller Gifts

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Dog Nightmares

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

The Poky Little Pupa.

'She's just great with the children.'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Zoom Christmas

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"Name your sources."

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'