Childbirth Storytellers Gifts

'My labor with Jenna was a snap...'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Dog Nightmares

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

Dr. Reynolds unsuccessfully combines night story time with EHR pajama time.

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

Dreams

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"A beautiful baby. Who does he take after?"

Womb for Kids

“It's a healthy baby boy. And, wow, the mouth on your wife …”

'Okay, one more blog about the meaning of 'Alice in Wonderland' and then off to sleep.'

Mrs Smith and her daughter - now and 40 years later...

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

Pay attention Mom. You're making the wolf and three little pigs sound the same.

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Ingredients: me

"Yeah, those first few minutes...nothing but a lot of slap and tickle!"

"She's changed so much since the sonogram."

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

Man using light to shield his eyes.

"Tell me again, how when I was born, how you passed out and the doctors left Mommy alone to revive you."

"And then all the kibble fell overboard and nothing was left but kale..."

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"