Childbirth Storytellers Gifts

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

Uterus: One size fits all.

Dr. Reynolds unsuccessfully combines night story time with EHR pajama time.

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

Dreams

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"A beautiful baby. Who does he take after?"

Womb for Kids

'Okay, one more blog about the meaning of 'Alice in Wonderland' and then off to sleep.'

“It's a healthy baby boy. And, wow, the mouth on your wife …”

Mrs Smith and her daughter - now and 40 years later...

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

Pay attention Mom. You're making the wolf and three little pigs sound the same.

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Man using light to shield his eyes.

"Yeah, those first few minutes...nothing but a lot of slap and tickle!"

Ingredients: me

"She's changed so much since the sonogram."

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

"Tell me again, how when I was born, how you passed out and the doctors left Mommy alone to revive you."

'Congratulations, it's a boy!'

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.