Birth Story Teller Mugs

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'She's just great with the children.'

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Zoom Christmas

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'