Birth Of A Baby Girl Gifts

Mime Baby

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

My First Camera

Baby Piano

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

A midwife holding a baby

"That's not how I sat on you."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Children's artwork exhibition.