Bird Trainer Gifts

Pigeon Training School

Buy me and I'll tell you where Long John Silver buried his treasure!

'Yes, I was his trainer ... and yes, I do birthday parties.'

"The fools don't realize that what I do is political commentary."

A falconer with a flamingo on his arm

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

Pet Bird.

'Whether it's fear biting, dominance biting or explorer mouth, he's drawing blood!'

The Bird Trainer

'They're getting away...They're getting away!'

'I'm returning the parrot. He doesn't roll his r's...'

"He does impressions too!"

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"He's really let this 'majestic bird' thing go to his head."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."