Hawk Trainer Gifts

"One large with pepperoni and mushrooms."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"No no, I said sit!!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Quick, start the car!"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Any questions?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Super pets.

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

Cat Show

Hanging off every word...

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

Quality Control

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Just go with the workflow."

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."