Hawk Handler Gifts

"You ever look around for something, and then realize you were holding it?"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Super pets.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Fragile stamper.

Pushy Dog

'The word bath is mentioned.'

D.I.Y with dad.

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

"He did it!"

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

Saggy Boobs Make Great Bungee Ropes for Bored Hamsters.

'Bad news! We're hamsters!'

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

"Listen, buddy, a lot of dogs accidentally wee-wee at Westminster."

A recurring crisis at the Farkinski farm

"Ok, it got weird while you were a wolf."

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

'Damn showdog people!'

Hogwarts Academy. What magic? This is a veterinary school specializing in swine skin conditions.

'Did you read my email about Timmy falling down the well?'

"I lost my way and wandered through this white hell for five days before your brave rescue dog found me and saved me from starving to death!"

Police Dept. K-9 Unit. Just once I'd like to go undercover as a bad dog.