Bird Enthusiast With A Twist Gifts

Bird box with satellite dish.

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'You know too much!'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Vegetarian Birds

Spring Training

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

Canada Goose Jackets

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'