Bird Lover With A Twist Gifts

Scientist taking air quality reading on roof with canary wearing gas mask.

'Don't be silly -- how can a PARROT be part Scottish?'

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Polluted geese

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Knight feeding his kids.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Vegetarian Birds

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Endangered Species: Belgian Ostrich.

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

Bird Tweet.

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

Peace Locked in a Cage

No jay walking.