Billing Humor Lovers Gifts

'How goes the billing?'

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

"I charge by the grain."

'The IRS is wondering when you might get around to filing your Federal Income Tax?'

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

'Damn, we forgot to cancel the book of the month!'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

Luck of the IRS.

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

'It's a tax refund. There's a note attached asking us not to cash it before next week.'

The day after the meek inherit the Earth.

IRS tax forms.

'I need you to open wide, Peel.' - 'Ahhh.' - 'Not your mouth, fool! Your wallet.' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Wider!' - 'Argh!'

'I don't believe in traditional capital punishment. I'm sentencing you to be taxed to death.'

"We lawyers are very conscientious about our charges and I remember that one specifically: I called to wish you a happy birthday and I got your answering machine so I just billed you a quarter of an hour."

'Sue, will you see a marriage counselor with me?'

"You're self-assessment form is a joke!"

'That charge is for my accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'

'They'll tax it less than my 4x4 vehicle.'

"There's a professor Van Helsing to see you"

'I recommend you use the short form.'

'No, you can't deduct part of your cell as an office.'

Man not charged enough for first opinion.

'I've decided to pay you in merchandise in lieu of money.'

"I wanted to pay my tax with a smile...but the inland revenue insisted I gave them cash."

From "The Letters Of Jeffrey Flanders and Tip-Top Utility"

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

IRS - Our Holiday Message: "It's better to give than to deceive."

'Hey! It's our tax dollars too!'

'I must warn you; reading your bill may cause heart palpitations,cold sweat,stomach cramps,nausea...'

"In come"