Billing Detective Gifts

"I can't get into specifics about your bill - that's operational."

'That patient's got twelve personalities. Send the bill 'to whom it may concern.''

'This search fee seems very high. Solicitor.'

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Flat tax - equal burden?

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

Eurobonds Explained.

IRS Audit Section

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

I am billing, therefore I am.

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

Financial Corruption

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."