Bill Counter Gifts

'It's a bill for asking how much I charge.'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

Accountant Bedtime Stories

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

"Our accountancy firm says that there are a number of ways to interpret the figures... which one do you prefer?"

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

'I've added this up six times and still can't get it to balance!'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

Books. Harry Potter and the Huge Pile of Royalties.

"These here accountants should be ready just in time for tax season."

Entry level astronomer...

C.P.A.

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Tax - Random Audit

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

The 12 Days of Covidmas

'A boat in every garage, a limit of fish in every creel!'

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

'Is it safe to come out? Are the auditors gone?'

Annual sleep disorder for tax accountants.

'50 of the population spends more than they earn. That's where we come in.'

I'd like to investigate your tax return!

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."