Bidding Boss Gifts

Antiques: Out Bidding

P. Watkins Auctioneer: Going, Going, Gone.

E-Baying @ The Moon

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"Well, they were the low bidders."

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"My bid falls between my two competitors'. By using twigs, my design is more structurally sound than straw, yet more cost-effective than brick."

"It's from eBay! I won a cigarette lighter for a 1964 Chevy Impala. I make my dreams come true one bid at a time."

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

'Sitting on the dock of eBay, wasting time...'

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

Rodin's Late Arriver

Are you bidding Mrs Bixler, or are you berating Mr. Bixler again?'

This is the twenty-first century, silly --- Log onto eBay and make a bid!

"I brought this electric guitar on ebay last week."

"I'll give you three cans of Happy Herds Condensed Milk for two cans of Affaire de Coeur Flaky Salmon."

Man bids at Internet auction site

Woman sells on eBay and husband bids on same item.

'Blake Construction lost $500,000 on the Fenton Job. Thank God they underbid us by $100.'

'All right, who's been buying things on eBay and charging them to my lab account?'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -

And now lot 36, the Picasso. Only one owner, a little old lady...

Auction Rooms 'Gone to lunch' sign.