Bidding Enthusiast Gifts

'Sitting on the dock of eBay, wasting time...'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"They claim he's so good, he could get people to bid on roadkill."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Why markets crash.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Invisible clothes

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Jumping Wall Street.

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Online Shopping.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

I e-bay t-shirt.

Last Chance for Everything.

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."