Bidding Specialist Gifts

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Harris, I want you to buy up anything that has 'dot com' in their title."

Don't forget to read the small print.

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

Exploring Healthcare Careers

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

Medical Billing & Coding

"Your NDA prohibits you from talking about my tendency to bark."

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

"Well, they were the low bidders."

'Maybe that will teach you not to buy a manure spreader without seeing it first.'

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

"My bid falls between my two competitors'. By using twigs, my design is more structurally sound than straw, yet more cost-effective than brick."

"Oh dear did we neglect to read the contract thoroughly?"

The cat had figured out how to work Ebay.

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional..."