Bidding Boss Pillows

Antiques: Out Bidding

P. Watkins Auctioneer: Going, Going, Gone.

E-Baying @ The Moon

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

"Well, they were the low bidders."

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"My bid falls between my two competitors'. By using twigs, my design is more structurally sound than straw, yet more cost-effective than brick."

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

"I'll give you three cans of Happy Herds Condensed Milk for two cans of Affaire de Coeur Flaky Salmon."

Are you bidding Mrs Bixler, or are you berating Mr. Bixler again?'

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

Rodin's Late Arriver

"I brought this electric guitar on ebay last week."

'Blake Construction lost $500,000 on the Fenton Job. Thank God they underbid us by $100.'

Woman sells on eBay and husband bids on same item.

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -

And now lot 36, the Picasso. Only one owner, a little old lady...

Auction Rooms 'Gone to lunch' sign.

"Now, what am I bid for this beautiful piece, which comes with the original owner?"

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."