Bidding Pillows

"Well, they were the low bidders."

"Mom, Dad's been on eBay again!"

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

Woman sells on eBay and husband bids on same item.

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

"Now, what am I bid for this beautiful piece, which comes with the original owner?"

'Are you looking at my bid?'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

Antiques: Out Bidding

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Congratulations, you just bought the book WE put up for auction!"

"I brought this electric guitar on ebay last week."

Online auction.

P. Watkins Auctioneer: Going, Going, Gone.

"Sold to the man with the itchy ear."

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

"They claim he's so good, he could get people to bid on roadkill."

Rodin's Late Arriver

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -

And now lot 36, the Picasso. Only one owner, a little old lady...

The new Yorkshire based auction site: E-bay Gum.

"Sir, did you just sneeze or spend $60 million?"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

"I got it from eBay."