Bidding Pillows

"Well, they were the low bidders."

"Mom, Dad's been on eBay again!"

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

Man bids at Internet auction site

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

Woman sells on eBay and husband bids on same item.

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

Man on ebay not bothering to bid as he has 'preferred bidder status'.

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

"Now, what am I bid for this beautiful piece, which comes with the original owner?"

'Sitting on the dock of eBay, wasting time...'

'Are you looking at my bid?'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

Antiques: Out Bidding

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Congratulations, you just bought the book WE put up for auction!"

"I brought this electric guitar on ebay last week."

And on the 7th Day, he put in his bid.

Online auction.

P. Watkins Auctioneer: Going, Going, Gone.

"Sold to the man with the itchy ear."

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

"They claim he's so good, he could get people to bid on roadkill."

Rodin's Late Arriver

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -

I got him on ebay!

'All right, who's been buying things on eBay and charging them to my lab account?'

And now lot 36, the Picasso. Only one owner, a little old lady...

The new Yorkshire based auction site: E-bay Gum.

This is the twenty-first century, silly --- Log onto eBay and make a bid!

Auction. I bid on everything until I lost my voice. The cartload before the hoarse!

"Sir, did you just sneeze or spend $60 million?"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'