Biblical Story Reinterpreters Gifts

Regendering Christmas

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Eat my dust!"

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."

"King Herod sent us."

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'...And remember, tune in next week at this same time for the exciting conclusion of 'David and Bathsheba.'!'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

Ark under giant brolly.

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."