Bible Story Reimaginer Gifts

Adam & Eve get a reality show.

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

"My client would like to plead 'not guilty' to all three charges of damage to private property."

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

"What if the dish and the spoon run away together?" "Not bad, Doug, not bad at all." "And a crockpot tries to lure the dish away with cash and loads of jewels!" "Come on, Rita! That's been done to death. Too derivative."

'Wind in the Willies' - 'It's an Andrew Davies version of the old classic.'

Revised Texts

"Three pizzas: One too hot, one too cold, and one just right."

Hansel and Gretel, now microwavable.

Alice in Badassland

'Great, David! But think what you could do with a personal trainer!'

Under New Management.

Regendering Christmas

Wolf in bed.

'Deep in the woods, the children came upon the most wondrous sight.'

'Boy, down there.' 'Yes, Mr. Scrooge.' 'Tell the butcher...to cancel for goose. I just had a visit from the spirit of Veggie Future.'

"Stop that Moses, it's bath time."

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

Some things Alice did in wonderland have been glossed over.

Princess reads sign: 'NO fishing' NO kissing frogs'.

This is getting waaay too easy...

"Save the loaves for the other 4,999. I am gluten intolerant."

Lady Cadaver.

Rapunzel Experiments With Gender Presentation

The Parting of the Red Maze

And lived happily ever after? That's nice...now tell me the unauthorised version!

'For goodness sake, David - you'll never correct that slice in time, try your sling!'

'Look, Adam! -- The snake gave me some body paint!'

"They got kicked off paradise because they couldn't resist a stupid apple?! Ridiculous! I mean, if it was for a double cheeseburger with fries and ice cream..."

Breaking the stereotype

"I wanted a more desirable workstyle."