Biblical Criticism Pillows

Benedictus de Spinoza

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Reading my Critics

Moses on the web

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"OMG, LOL!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Cheap Labour Countries.

'Quit throwing dinner plates, Gentle Jesus.'