Church Critic Pillows

'I only asked them if they would like to kiss my ring...'

Martin Luther.

REALLY boring sermons

'Who was it said, 'There's no such thing as bad publicity'?!'

Hear No, See No, Speak No Evil.

"Michael Sherlock once said: 'Religion isn't about peace, love, or the betterment of our species, it's about power and control. Religion uses fear to control and milk its flocks. Fear of God. Fear of the Devil. Fear of death. Fear of being seen as deviant for expressing non-belief. Fear of social sanctions and in some countries, fear of legal sanctions. Fear is a powerful tool to manipulate the masses and religion has mastered its employment.' ..."

"It was a little preachy."

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."

"I think it's the company logo."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

"...What would you do if some abused your children?"

"What?! Another priest has been charged with pedophilia?! I'm shocked!... No, wait... What's the opposite of 'shocked'? I'm that."

Church Growth

The Pope

"Is that 'father' as in God or 'father' as in priest? ...Because that completely changes the context."

'Sweetie anyone?'

Irish catholic church closes ranks over sex scandal.

'Charles gets so upset watching the Pope.'

Alter Boy and Priest.

'Sorry -- that's not on our list of approved churches.'

'Remind me, Father, am I confessing to you or are you confessing to me?'

Times of the day - Morning.

Shamed Archbishop of Canterbury smuggled out under a blanket. Mitre obvious.

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

How's my sermon. . .

SF NO

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"We'll always hate Paris."

How's my Sermon . . .

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

A Man of Faith

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'