Bible Verse Critic Pillows

"Is he gonna read the ENTIRE Book of Psalms!?! C'Mon!!!"

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"OMG, LOL!"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

How's my sermon. . .

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

David and Goliath.

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

How's my Sermon . . .

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

Gorillas Load Noah's Mahogany Desk

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

And God said 'Let there be a thermonuclear power station' and there was light.

'It's a popular misconception, but in fact, it's always been 'cod'.'

Trump Bible photo op

'But first... a word from Mount Sinai National Bank.'

'Life is becoming more and more expensive.'

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

"Now Eve wants free contraceptives."

Adam and Eve in tug of war with cavemen.

"I'm not hanging up until I find the person who listed my sermons under 'Double Dutch'"

'Eve, I think we should see other people.'

"Bring me the head of John the Baptist. Just kidding. Get me the Paulson file."

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'