Bible Verse Critic Pillows

"Is he gonna read the ENTIRE Book of Psalms!?! C'Mon!!!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"OMG, LOL!"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

How's my sermon. . .

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

David and Goliath.

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

Moses gives his wife split ends

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

How's my Sermon . . .

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

Gorillas Load Noah's Mahogany Desk

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

"Yeah, right, Noah. Like THAT'S gonna work!"

How Noah did it.

And God said 'Let there be a thermonuclear power station' and there was light.

'It's a popular misconception, but in fact, it's always been 'cod'.'

Trump Bible photo op

'But first... a word from Mount Sinai National Bank.'

"Now Eve wants free contraceptives."

Jesus As A Teenager Clears The Temple. . .

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

"Bring me the head of John the Baptist. Just kidding. Get me the Paulson file."

Adam and Eve in tug of war with cavemen.

'Life is becoming more and more expensive.'

"I'm not hanging up until I find the person who listed my sermons under 'Double Dutch'"

'Eve, I think we should see other people.'

Bingo Addicts...