Biblical Buffoons Gifts

"Can you bring me some booze and fags Noah?"

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Did You say 'ark' or 'ork'?'

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Oooh! What's he gonna do now?!"

"Wasn't it follow one star to Bethlehem?"

Lost dog/Lost Sheep posters

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

"Most of the apostles can make it but Thomas is doubtful"

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

And on the Seventh Day...

Bowled out.

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

'You put the fortunes in AFTER you bake the cookies!'

Turtles and snails boarding Noah's Ark.

'You're security!'

Jerusalem's Got Talent

"Yes, I know I only caught a lizard - it's called artistic license, Mildred!"

"I worry that more infrastructure spending will mean more schools!"

"No wonder my mouse wasn't working. I've been using the biscuit from dinner."

'We'll let the accountant hide the fact we've only got one unicorn'

Adam AND Eve? --- That should thicken the plot!

"So, David. Do you have a permit for that weapon?"

"Now it's a golden calf! - I TOLD You that You should stop with the monkeys!"

Moses knew how to make a good first impression.