Biblical Buffoons Gifts

"Can you bring me some booze and fags Noah?"

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Did You say 'ark' or 'ork'?'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

"Wasn't it follow one star to Bethlehem?"

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

"Most of the apostles can make it but Thomas is doubtful"

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Bowled out.

And on the Seventh Day...

'You're security!'

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

'You put the fortunes in AFTER you bake the cookies!'

Jerusalem's Got Talent

"Yes, I know I only caught a lizard - it's called artistic license, Mildred!"

"I worry that more infrastructure spending will mean more schools!"

'I know you're a deadly sin and everything, but I don't know...I still like hanging around with you anyway.'

Moses knew how to make a good first impression.

"No wonder my mouse wasn't working. I've been using the biscuit from dinner."

'We'll let the accountant hide the fact we've only got one unicorn'

"Now it's a golden calf! - I TOLD You that You should stop with the monkeys!"

"So, David. Do you have a permit for that weapon?"