Bookish Buffoonery Gifts

"Come down here, Wilson, we need to talk about your reading comprehension."

"You're going to hate yourself."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'Hard to follow...'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

Book Worm

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

Will Self deprecation

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

Meet The Ghostwriter

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

Larry's Literary Market.

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

Older cousin press

William Blake.

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

Michel De Montaigne is quotes as saying the following...

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Eat, Pray, Love Hot Dogs

Cheshire Cat

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"