Bookish Brilliance Gifts

Anna Burns

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'Hard to follow...'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

Book Worm

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

Will Self deprecation

N't. Dear, we're commas. Get down here before you get hurt.

John Galsworthy

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

Meet The Ghostwriter

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

Larry's Literary Market.

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

Saul Bellow

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

Oliver Twist - Oliver,with the Pickpocketing Artful Dodger's Mode

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."

William Blake.

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark