Bookish Wit Gifts

"You're going to hate yourself."

Will Self deprecation

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Hard to follow...'

Trivia/Great Literature.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Plagiarism by Billy Widmore It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Four score and seven years ago, Quoted the raven nevermore...

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Book Worm

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

Meet The Ghostwriter

Larry's Literary Market.

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

"Do you have any why-to books?"

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

'Camilo José Cela'

Fairy narratives

Cheshire Cat

Stephane Mallarme

Eat, Pray, Love Hot Dogs