Bookish Wit Gifts

"You're going to hate yourself."

Will Self deprecation

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Hard to follow...'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Trivia/Great Literature.

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Plagiarism by Billy Widmore It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Four score and seven years ago, Quoted the raven nevermore...

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

Book Worm

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

N't. Dear, we're commas. Get down here before you get hurt.

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

Meet The Ghostwriter

Larry's Literary Market.

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

"Do you have any why-to books?"

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

Anna Burns

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

Stephane Mallarme

'Camilo José Cela'