Art Buffoons Gifts

"Yes, I know I only caught a lizard - it's called artistic license, Mildred!"

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Hostile takeovers in the novelty business.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

"Since we are all swamped, I've decided to bring in a consultant."

Tank color choices.

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- Guns don't have power surges!'

"Unexpected item in the bagging area..."

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Bowled out.

"Those in favour, honk!"

'You're security!'

'You put the fortunes in AFTER you bake the cookies!'

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

Biggest selling fly cereal on the market.

"No wonder my mouse wasn't working. I've been using the biscuit from dinner."

"How interesting, Mr Spladgeforth, we don't often see the Eiffel Tower made out of sausages!"

'Nice catch, idiot!'

"Tell the press we'll have more in the merger when someone fixes our printer."

Book Burp

Cupcake icing and matching hairstyles.

"Don't overfeed it!"

"Drawing with a revoked artistic license. What about you?"

How did it go, Doc? I'm not the doctor, I'm the painter.

"Can you bring me some booze and fags Noah?"