Botanical Buffoon Gifts

"Don't overfeed it!"

Bubble Gum Farms.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

Plant Parenthood...

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Poinsettia

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

'Take me to your weeder!'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Waiting for plants to grow

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

Sheds

Hope of spring.

"Look—I appreciate your talking to me, and I know you mean well, but you're boring."

Gardening.

A Thirsty Flower

Flytrap nerd.

Nursery keeps wildflowers in cages.

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

Annuals - Perennials - Eternals

Bowled out.

heavy plant crossing

'You're security!'