Botanical Buffoon Pillows

"Don't overfeed it!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Poinsettia

'Take me to your weeder!'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Waiting for plants to grow

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

Sheds

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

A Thirsty Flower

Hope of spring.

"Look—I appreciate your talking to me, and I know you mean well, but you're boring."

Nursery keeps wildflowers in cages.

Gardening.

Flytrap nerd.

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

Annuals - Perennials - Eternals

Bowled out.

Flower shows and weed shows.

'You're security!'

heavy plant crossing