Business Buffoon Gifts

'You're security!'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

Pie Charts, Inc.

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

Hostile takeovers in the novelty business.

"Since we are all swamped, I've decided to bring in a consultant."

'According to your aptitude test, you're best suited to be kicked upstairs.'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

Bowled out.

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

"The last thing we need now is to sit around with a hangdog look!"

"Yes, I know I only caught a lizard - it's called artistic license, Mildred!"

"Those in favour, honk!"

'You put the fortunes in AFTER you bake the cookies!'

"I worry that more infrastructure spending will mean more schools!"

"Tell the press we'll have more in the merger when someone fixes our printer."

Book Burp

"Let's suppose I don't like the job after a week or so. How much severance pay can I count on?"

'I spent $1,500 on ski equipment, and now not only have I no balance on the slopes, I have no balance in the bank.'

"Baldo, now I'm worried. You've been working and working...and you still don't have much money saved up."

'...and there's also the small matter of the call-out fee'

'Good proposal. Though to be perfectly honest, it did catch me a little off guard.'

Bank. Uh-huh

"This is a big day! With this paycheck, I've earned more than $2,000! Of course, I've wildly blown about $1,900 of it on junk."