Beverage Shop Owner Gifts

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Beer Stall

Best Before 5th Pint.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Shaken not stirred

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Time for tea and friendship.

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Beer Order

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

The Bar & Grill of Ordinary Men: Quiet Desperation 11 am - closing (Karaoke on Saturday)

You have had enough

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'