Beverage Shop Owner T-Shirts

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Beer Stall

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Shaken not stirred

Time for tea and friendship.

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

Beer Order

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

The Bar & Grill of Ordinary Men: Quiet Desperation 11 am - closing (Karaoke on Saturday)

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."