Betting Pillows

"I'll give you 3 to 1 nobody else turns up."

"I thought you said risk taking was okay?" 'Not putting the pension fund on Lucky Lady to win."

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

WIZARD OF ODDS...gambling, lottery consultant.

Risk assesment

"Why don't you try a different style of gambling? Like Russian roulette."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'I'm hear one of these guys is a certified mind reader, and I think I know who it is.'

Financial Advisor

Gamblers Anonymous.

"One thing about Earl - Earl knows when to fold."

Taking back America- one wager at a time: Tribal casino and hotel...welcome!

'Your horse is sure to win now that he's got rid of that little man on his back.'

'I don't like to take chances.'

A day at the races

'I'll bet you fifty dollars that you can't stop gambling' Colour

"Never seen a cow before?"

Financial advisor reading racing statistics.

-"It would have been a photo finish..." -"Yes, but by the time our horse got there it was too dark for a photo!"

"Well, at least you didn't lose your shirt in there."

Four cowboys playing cards.

'You guys mind if I bet rare stamps? I'm all out of money.'

Gambling Addiction Self-help Group - 'You've got a 7 to 1 chance of getting a place.'

"Is this a slow motion replay, or the horse you've bet on?"

'The test results are in and I just lost a $300 bet with the coroner.'

Gambler's Anonymous - "What are the odds on my recovery?"

'He's a cro-magnon -- you owe me five bucks!'

'Racing form on wall' -"Thunder lad is the only horse with a chance.. I've been following him all season."

Fantasy Football Betting Pool

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

'I want to win as much as he does: I don't understand why he thinks it helps to whip me!'

A Good Bet.

Bookmakers: Please Gamble Sensibly All Day Every Day

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'