Betting Gifts

"I'll give you 3 to 1 nobody else turns up."

"I thought you said risk taking was okay?" 'Not putting the pension fund on Lucky Lady to win."

WIZARD OF ODDS...gambling, lottery consultant.

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

Risk assesment

'I'm hear one of these guys is a certified mind reader, and I think I know who it is.'

"Why don't you try a different style of gambling? Like Russian roulette."

Gamblers Anonymous.

Financial Advisor

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Taking back America- one wager at a time: Tribal casino and hotel...welcome!

A day at the races

'I don't like to take chances.'

'I'll bet you fifty dollars that you can't stop gambling' Colour

"Never seen a cow before?"

'Your horse is sure to win now that he's got rid of that little man on his back.'

"One thing about Earl - Earl knows when to fold."

Gambling Addiction Self-help Group - 'You've got a 7 to 1 chance of getting a place.'

"Well, at least you didn't lose your shirt in there."

-"It would have been a photo finish..." -"Yes, but by the time our horse got there it was too dark for a photo!"

Four cowboys playing cards.

"Is this a slow motion replay, or the horse you've bet on?"

'The test results are in and I just lost a $300 bet with the coroner.'

Gambler's Anonymous - "What are the odds on my recovery?"

'You guys mind if I bet rare stamps? I'm all out of money.'

Financial advisor reading racing statistics.

'Racing form on wall' -"Thunder lad is the only horse with a chance.. I've been following him all season."

A Good Bet.

'Sad case... I hear he bet his life savings on Britain winning the Eurovision Song Contest...'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

Nostradamus.

'I want to win as much as he does: I don't understand why he thinks it helps to whip me!'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

Risk assessment offered to punters.